Why you shouldn’t stay at Wombat’s Hostel…
I hope this finds you well. But then again I hope it doesn’t. I’m shitty at you!
I have stayed in more hostels than you can poke a stick at and I previously thought, “Hostels hey. So dodgy. So cheap. What cha gunna do” that was, until I booked a one-night stay at a little place called Wombat’s in the centre of London.
Do you even know what it’s like to be a backpacker? Having to lug around a ridiculous pack and finding the cheapest, most questionable places to stay at? Do you even care about travellers like you claim to? After staying at your London establishment I think not!
Since checking out over a week ago, I’ve stayed in two other hostels and am currently sitting on my bed in the third, fuming as I type this to you. Not only am I fuming at you but also myself. I’m the idiot that instead of booking extra nights straight away instead said, “ummm yeah just add two nights for now and we’ll see how we go.” We go bad. You were all booked out. In my hour of need! I had to book a night in what is probably the dodgiest area of London!
I’m angry at you and your stupid, comfy, stable beds, with their full, plump pillows and warm, comforting blankets. I’m angry at your silly, secure, in-room lockers and all the space for everyone’s luggage. Don’t even get me started on the bathrooms. The separate shower, sink, toilet combo is literally a game changer. You won’t find that anywhere else! And, AND the shower itself! That pressure. That good temp. You could fit like 10 people in there. Legit.
But I think the thing I am most filthy about is that little bit of wood jutting out of the wall just above each bed. It doesn’t sound like much but for back packers, it’s the Holy Grail. Not only do you have that mini bedside table to put your watch, medications or midnight snacks on but below it is a light and above is a second Holy Grail. (Yes, there are two in the world.) Drum roll please! A personal power point. I literally. Can’t. Even.
As I sit on the top bunk of my current bed and stare all the way across the room to my phone charging, I must confess a tear is being shed.
Anyway, what’s your end game here? Ruin every other hostel for travellers? Every single one I go to I think, “oh… Wombats had lockers” or “the showers aren’t as good as Wombats”. Every single one! I have never found a hostel that even comes close to being as good as Wombats.
It’s similar to when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden living it up only to be thrown out and have to sleep on a pile of dirt.
It’s comparable to having a weeklong whirlwind romance and then finding out he’s married with six kids and a chocolate labrador called Sam!
It’s like on Seinfeld when Jerry and Elaine get on a flight with only a coach seat and a first class seat left and Jerry says he’ll take the first class. “Elaine you won’t know what you’re missing. See I’ve flown first class, I can’t go back to coach”. After being in the luxury of Wombat’s I have never related to a Seinfeld quote more.
Look, I think the solution and the only humane thing to do is just open up more places. Create a monopoly on the hostel industry. Even people who normally do hotels would be booking. Soon you’ll be the only places for accommodation. Just something to think about.
Long story short, if you’re reading this and you’ve stayed at Wombat’s before, book at least 5 months in advance. If you’re reading this and you haven’t stayed there yet, look elsewhere. Stick with the YHA. (I used to think the YHA was the fanciest hostel going. HA!) Don’t get a taste of the high life.
(I miss you) Regards,
P.S: I’m going to be in London again soon so I’ll hop on your website to book that in, but we can talk about that in private later.